The Welsh Assembly are currently debating on a proposed smacking ban and I wrote to some AMs concerning this. Here is my letter to Julie Morgan, Assembly Member for Cardiff North, which includes the All Nations Centre.
Dear Mrs Morgan,
I am writing to you in relation to the Welsh Assembly’s current debates on banning smacking in this country.
I must confess that I am deeply opposed to the proposal to ban smacking in Wales. My wife and I have been married for five years, we have an eighteen month old daughter and, next week, are due to have our second child. We love each other and love our children more than anything else in this world. We are also Christians, both raised in Christian families by Christian parents. Both our sets of parents have been happily married for over thirty years and have been excellent role models to us in every way. They have loved us, encouraged us and practically supported us throughout our infant and adult lives. They helped us with homework, encouraged us to pursue musical and sporting talents, and helped us come to sensible decisions concerning where to live, study and whom to marry. And, also, on occasion, when it was necessary, they disciplined us physically.
My parents smacked me when I behaved badly and I am eternally grateful to them for it. They never hit me out of anger, resentment or frustration; I have known throughout my life my parents’ love and support for me. But there were times when I needed to be disciplined physically and I am glad they did. It taught me restraint; it taught me to obey, honour and respect them. As a result, it taught me to obey, honour and respect others in authority: my teachers, my employers, public servants like doctors, policeman and, yes, even politicians.
The Bible tells Christian parents to love their children, not to exasperate them (you can read that in Colossians 4). The apostle Paul writes, ‘Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but build them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord’ (Ephesians 6:4). The Bible also tells me that God is a Father who loves his children and who disciplines those he loves. The Book of Proverbs makes clear that disciplining a child will involve smacking them, and that this smacking of them will not and should not harm them.
Mrs Morgan I am as opposed to violence as you are. I agree wholeheartedly with Lindsay Whittle’s comments, quoted in today’s Guardian, that ‘When does an open hand become a fist? When does an open palm dislocate a jaw or perforate an eardrum.’ Violence is as against the Christian ethic as anything else. But when I talk about ‘smacking’ my child or being ‘smacked’ by my parents, I am not talking about an act of violence rooted in anger or frustration. I am talking about a restrained and controlled act rooted in love. Your Labour colleague Christine Chapman says, ‘Parents who hit children tend to do it when they are angry. It is rarely done in a cool, calculated way. We don't condone hitting adults and it is nonsensical to say that children can be hit.’ Note Ms Chapman’s words here: she links smacking with hitting and with anger. I can honestly say my parents never hit me in anger and I will never hit my children in anger. I love them too much for that! But I love them enough to discipline them when necessary and I love them enough, too, to obey the Bible as the Word of God. Every time I have put the Bible into practise in my life – whether regarding discipline or ethics or financial stewardship or sexual conduct – I have found it to work.
Mrs Morgan, I am not a religious fundamentalist or an angry man on a crusade. I am a member of All Nations Church in Cardiff, where I currently serve as a deacon. We love the city of Cardiff and the nation of Wales. We want it to prosper greatly. We are involved in all manner of community and outreach projects that aim to make Cardiff a better city to live and Wales a safer nation. I have no doubt you would approve to them all. I am well educated, having obtained an MA and PhD from Cardiff University. I love living in South Wales and am a passionate Welshman. I am deeply saddened by many of the things I see in Caerphilly where I live: broken homes and families; people living without hope; lives destroyed by alcoholism; people living in long term unemployment. At times I have known how they felt: this year I lost my job and was unemployed for six months. I now have a job working at Heath Hospital in Cardiff. Were you to meet me, I am confident you’d find me honest, respectful, hardworking, diligent and, dare I say it, quite normal. I’d hope that you’d actually enjoy my company. If you did, I’d be able to tell you I am the man I am today because of how my parents raised me. They taught me to work hard and to honour and respect all people. And they taught me that through love, care and, occasionally, physical discipline.
Mrs Morgan, I pray that you will be successful in all you do in representing South East Wales to the Assembly. The Bible instructs me to pray for all who are in authority over me – in fact, to give thanks to God for them! – and that includes you. I am sure you would want me to obey such a command. It also commands me to physically discipline my children when the need arises. I hope that you will take into consideration what I have written to you today.
Yours sincerely,
James Aubrey
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